Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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