The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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