He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
