every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
