im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize