Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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