toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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