dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
