If i could tip my vagina, i would.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
