How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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