your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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