I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize