Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
