K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
