why didn't you poke me back
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
