hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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