i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize