I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We're facebook friends in real life
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize