and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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