i don't like sucking hair
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
