i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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