Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
