I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
