Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
