My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
