Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
