I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize