did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
