I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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