The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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