I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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