Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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