Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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