Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
