I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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