I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
pray to the hookup gods
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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