After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
