when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
