I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
