Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize