Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
