I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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