Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
