I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize