I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
