Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
