my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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