She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
