he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
