We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
