I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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