you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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