if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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