Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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