If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
there is glitter all over my balls
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