is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize