That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
