I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
