Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
