Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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