If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
