im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
